Author Archive

THREE PAWS launches January 21 on Amazon.com!

said on January 20th, 2017 filed under: Three Paws

Order your ebook or paperback by clicking “Three Paws” now.

Sharp-Teeth-Flat-Teeth-2500x1563-Amazon-Smashwords-Kobo-Apple

What would happen to the creatures of the forest if humans disappeared?  At first, the animals might go on living as they have always done.  But what if a mysterious event occurred, and they began to change, to become something more than they were?  “Three Paws” is the first book of SHARP TEETH, FLAT TEETH, an animal fantasy that tells the stories of the Fur Clans that evolve in the Woods Beyond the Broken Lands.  Follow the adventures of Three Paws the beaver, Flitter the pack rat, Shot-in-the-Butt the bear, Snaggletooth the cougar and all the animals who gather near Blue Rock to form a new society, the Covenant of Good Manners.

Eagle and Pack Rat

Scientists tell us that we can never know what goes on inside an animal’s mind, and even though   Wouldn’t it be wonderful if they could speak and tell us?  Of course, animals don’t have the kind of lips, tongue, and vocal cords to form human words.  How would they communicate?  Telepathy?  A sensory language of physical signs and scent, howls and chatters, huffs and chirps?

Cougar

One clear, cold night, with a full moon shining above the hills of northern California, the Sky Turns Green (the mysterious event). Overwhelming pulsations reverberate through the forest, firestorms roar back and forth across the land.  Many animals are killed, others sicken and die, but the ones who survive gradually discover astonishing new powers: self-awareness, heightened intelligence, and the ability to communicate with each other.  SHARP TEETH, FLAT TEETH is my deep bow of respect to this imaginary animal world.  The stories are uplifting, challenging, exciting,  and ultimately meant to blow your mind.

Fingers

You should begin with “Three Paws,” the story of a beaver, too young to know about the steel traps left behind by human trappers.

Order your copy by clicking Three Paws now.

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Are You a Writer? Do You Want To Be?

said on January 8th, 2017 filed under: Flat Teeth, Three Paws, Whimsy

If you are interested in the art and craft of writing, and if you live near the northern California Foothills,

SWC Blog header

You should consider attending the Sierra Writer’s Conference on January 20 and 21, 2017 on the Grass Valley Campus of Sierra College in Grass Valley, California.

click on this line for registration, content, schedule, directions and all that important stuff about the conference

CJ and I will be there to conduct one of the workshop sessions.  Click here for info about our session.

We will also be there to launch Bob’s new book:

Three-Paws-2500x1563-Amazon-Smashwords-Kobo-Apple

 

Guess what?  You can click here to find out about “Three Paws.”

 

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Birth Announcement–THREE PAWS

said on December 22nd, 2016 filed under: Art work and photography, Three Paws

Three-Paws-2500x1563-Amazon-Smashwords-Kobo-Apple

I am delighted to pre-Announce the imminent arrival of my new book, “THREE PAWS,” due January 21, 2017.  It’s a children’s book, ages 9-12, though my pal (and proof reader) Sheryl Karas thinks it might work for older kid’s, perhaps even YA.

Here’s the link to the landing page:  THREE PAWS

And here’s the preliminary blurb:

What would happen to the creatures of the forest if humans disappeared?  At first, the animals might go on living as they have always done.  But what if a mysterious event occurred, and they began to change, to become something more than they were?  “Three Paws” is the first book of SHARP TEETH, FLAT TEETH, an animal fantasy that tells the stories of the Fur Clans that evolve in the Woods Beyond the Broken Lands.  Follow the adventures of Three Paws the beaver, Flitter the pack rat, Shot-in-the-Butt the bear, Snaggletooth the cougar and all the animals who gather near Blue Rock to form a new society, the Covenant of Good Manners.

Scientists tell us that we can never know what goes on inside an animal’s mind, and even though  I learned that “fact” when I studied animal psychology in college, I never stopped wondering what animals think?  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if they could speak and tell us?  Of course, animals don’t have the kind of lips, tongue, and vocal cords to form human words.  How would they communicate?  Telepathy?  A sensory language of physical signs and scent, howls and chatters, huffs and chirps?

One clear, cold night, with a full moon shining above the hills of northern California, the Sky Turns Green (the mysterious event). Overwhelming pulsations reverberate through the forest, firestorms roar back and forth across the land.  Many animals are killed, others sicken and die, but the ones who survive gradually discover astonishing new powers: self-awareness, heightened intelligence, and the ability to communicate with each other.  SHARP TEETH, FLAT TEETH is my deep bow of respect to this imaginary animal world.  The stories are uplifting, challenging, exciting,  and ultimately meant to blow your mind.

You should begin with “Three Paws,” the story of a beaver, too young to know about the steel traps left behind by human trappers.

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Azriel Dancer–The Soundtrack

said on December 22nd, 2016 filed under: Uncategorized

My old goombah Brian Conroy compiled and recorded this clever soundtrack to accompany Azriel Dancer.  Each song references a specific passage in the book or captures a particular sentiment.

Azriel Dancer

The Soundtrack

  1. Sympathy for the Devil—The Rolling Stones
  2. Walk on the Wild Side—Lou Reed
  3. Talkin’ World War III Blues—Bob Dylan
  4. My Sweet Lord—George Harrison
  5. Popsicle Toes—Michael Franks
  6. Old Friends—Simon and Garfunkel
  7. Got My Mojo Working—Muddy Waters
  8. Don’t Worry, Be Happy—Bobby McFerrin
  9. Mr. Bojangles—David Bromberg
  10. Hare Krishna—Chitra Singh and Jagit Singh
  11. Whipping Post—Allman Brothers Band
  12. Bonus track—It’s the End of the World As We Know It—R.E.M.

 

Thank You Brian!

 

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Soundtrack for Azriel Dancer–Song 2

said on December 11th, 2016 filed under: Soundtrack, Whimsy

Soundtrack for Azriel Dancer

Beautifully compiled by Brian Conroy in November 2016

Song 1  Take a Walk on the Wild Side by Lou Reed

Page 32 of Azriel Dancer (first edition)

Tone deaf as the boulder at her feet, Simone tried to sing:  And the colored girls go Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo.

 This is a fan tribute video, not “official.”  If you who know about Andy Warhol and his milieu, you’ll find this version fascinating.

And if you want the lyrics, read on:

Holly came from Miami F.L.A.
Hitch-hiked her way across the U.S.A.
Plucked her eyebrows on the way
Shaved her legs and then he was a she
She said, hey babe, take a walk on the wild side,
Said, hey honey, take a walk on the wild side.
Candy came from out on the island,
In the backroom she was everybody’s darling,
But she never lost her head
Even when she was giving head
She sayes, hey baby, take a walk on the wild side
Said, hey babe, take a walk on the wild side
And the colored girls go,
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Little Joe never once gave it away
Everybody had to pay and pay
A hustle here and a hustle there
New York City is the place where they said:
Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side
I said hey Joe, take a walk on the wild side
Sugar Plum Fairy came and hit the streets
Lookin’ for soul food and a place to eat
Went to the Apollo
You should have seen him go, go, go
They said, hey Sugar, take a walk on the wild side
I said, hey babe, take a walk on the wild side, alright, huh
Jackie is just speeding away
Thought she was James Dean for a day
Then I guess she had to crash
Valium would have helped that bash
She said, hey babe, take a walk on the wild side
I said, hey honey, take a walk on the wild side
And the colored girls say
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
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Soundtrack for Azriel Dancer–Song 1

said on December 6th, 2016 filed under: Soundtrack, Whimsy

Soundtrack for Azriel Dancer

Beautifully compiled by Brian Conroy in November 2016

Song 1  Sympathy for the Devil by The Rolling Stones

Page 32 of Azriel Dancer (first edition)

Murder concluded, Kali, from inside the killer’s mind, whispered, “Please allow me to introduce myself (a favorite Rolling Stone lyric he had been dying to use), I’m a man of wealth and taste.”

 This is an early version of the song, back when Jagger was so very young, raw, and honest.  It’s worth putting up with the first 54 seconds of David Frost.

And if you want the lyrics, read on:

Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m a man of wealth and taste
I’ve been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man’s soul to waste

And I was ’round when Jesus Christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game

 

I stuck around St. Petersburg
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed the czar and his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain

I rode a tank
Held a general’s rank
When the blitzkrieg raged
And the bodies stank

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah
(Woo woo, woo woo)

 

I watched with glee
While your kings and queens
Fought for ten decades
For the gods they made
(Woo woo, woo woo)

I shouted out,
Who killed the Kennedys?
When after all
It was you and me
(Who who, who who)

 

Let me please introduce myself
I’m a man of wealth and taste
And I laid traps for troubadours
Who get killed before they reached Bombay
(Woo woo, who who)

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
(Who who)
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby
(Who who, who who)

 

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what’s confusing you
Is just the nature of my game
(Woo woo, who who)

Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call me Lucifer
‘Cause I’m in need of some restraint
(Who who, who who)

 

So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
(Woo woo)
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I’ll lay your soul to waste, mm yeah
(Woo woo, woo woo)

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, mm yeah
(Who who)
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, mm mean it, get down
(Woo woo, woo woo)

Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah
Oh yeah!
(Woo woo)

Tell me baby, what’s my name
Tell me honey, can ya guess my name
Tell me baby, what’s my name
I tell you one time, you’re to blame

Oh, who
Woo, woo
Woo, who
Woo, woo
Woo, who, who [x2]
Oh, yeah

What’s my name
Tell me, baby, what’s my name
Tell me, sweetie, what’s my name

Woo, who, who [x6]
Oh, yeah

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There I Had It. There I lost it.

said on October 31st, 2016 filed under: Uncategorized

There I had it.  There I lost it.

Mama sent her ever-so-forgetful son to the store to buy some soap.

“Don’t you ferget what yer sposed to fetch.”

“No, mama.”

“What is it?”

“I forgot.”

“Soap!”

“Yessum.”

“Soap, soap, soap.  Say it.”

“Soap, soap, soap.”

“Keep sayin’ it, and git straight to the store.”

“Soap, soap soap,” and off he went.

By and by, he came to a loblolly (that’s Tarheel talk for a mud puddle).  Not paying attention, he stepped in the mud, his feet slid out from under him, and he landed on his rear end.  I tell you, he was covered in that sticky, red Carolina mud.

“Oh durn,” he said, and picked himself up.  He walked on down the road.

“Now what was I supposed to be doing?  Fetchin’ something from the store,  What was it?  I forgot!  I must have lost it in the mud.”

He walked back.

Pointing to one end of the loblolly, he said, “Now, there I had it.”

Pointing to the other end, he said, “And there I lost it.”

Pointing, “There I had it.”

Pointing, “There I lost it.”

“Oh no, I’m gonna have to tell mama I forgot, and she’s gonna sluice me in the rain barrel and scrub me down with that lye soap.

Soap?

Soap!

Off he went, “Soap, soap, soap.”

soap

I am that lad.  I go out into the woods, to run and think up ideas for my stories.  That’s when I get my best ideas, in fact, most of my ideas.  But,  just because I think me up a good one, way out in the hills, or down in the canyons, it doesn’t mean I’m going to get that delicacy all the way back to the truck.   Truth be told, I’ve left  more tasty rabbits out on the trail, than I ever brung home for mama to cook.

Now that I have slid into the loblolly of my elder years, memory troubles and all that,  coming back with ideas gets harder all the time.  I have taken to wearing a running belt with the kinds of items senior runners ought to take along:  water, GU energy chews, toilet paper, hand sanitizer, and identification.  No cell phone.  Where I run, there’s no coverage.  And one more thing.  What was it?  I forgot.  There I had it.  There I lost it.  Oh, yes, pen and a little notebook wherein I record my ideas whilst I pause for a moment, chew my Gu,  and conscientiously hydrate on orders from my wife.

All very good . . . when I remember to strap on my running belt.  When I don’t,  there is little likelihood of returning with a game bag full of ideas, but how about three?  My three best ideas.  Is that too much to ask?   So, I get an idea and I repeat it aloud, over and over.  Then I get the second idea, then the third.  And I repeat them aloud as I run along.

Soap, soap, soap.

Today’s soap?  A prayer for Janabai, the heroine of Book Two of Daughters of the Kali Yuga.  A new final line for the same book (no, I’m not going to tell you).  And three . . . the idea for this article.

#bobjenkinsauthor #azrieldancer #daughtersofthekaliyuga

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How does a Professional eBook Campaign Affect Sales for a New Release on Amazon?

said on October 14th, 2016 filed under: Nuts and Bolts, Point of the Pencil

Climbing the learning curve of self-published book launching, I spent many days in the trail-side camp of Derek Murphy, a mad (as in crazy) genius in the art of marketing books on the internet.  Check him out at creativindie.com.  In one rant about “gaming” Amazon.com (ranting is his usual method of teaching), Murphy recommended an email campaigner named Mike Balmaceda.  I got in touch with Balmaceda and purchased his $400 mid-range product.

My first novel, Azriel Dancer, launched on Saturday, October 1, 2016 with thirty-five reviews (all Five Star but two—one of the Four Stars being my sister’s, thanks a lot, Linda).  From Saturday through Tuesday, we had about thirty sales of eBooks.

Book 3

On Tuesday evening,  Balmaceda deployed his email campaign, and within twenty-four hours, we garnered an additional seventy-three sales.  That’s the big spike you see in the graph.

Effects of Balmaceda eBook Campaign

By Thursday, sales had tapered off.  One week later, we flat-lined.

Balmaceda guaranteed that, with his service, the book would reach the 2,000 to 3,000 Amazon ranking for eBooks.  Actual ranking achieved:  1,313.  We also ranked #4 in one category, #12 in another, and #18 in the third.  Great.  Mission accomplished.  For one day.  And that’s the moral of the story.  For one day, Wednesday, October 5, 2016.  What did I do for Amazon.com THURSDAY?  It makes perfect sense, the beast must be fed every day.  I have no complaints, with Amazon.com or with Balmaceda’s campaign.

Mike Balmaceda is straightforward with his promise . . . and with his warning:  the secret is in maintaining the momentum.  How do you do that?  Pay Mike $400 and find out for yourself.  I’m not trying to be funny.

Let me close with two points.

  1. Teaching people how to maintain sales momentum is Balmaceda’s business; it’s how he makes his living. I’m not going to give away the secrets he sells (and that I bought).
  2. From long experience in another sales industry, I can tell you that it is easy to learn the lesson.

Only a few actually do the work to put the lesson into action.

Point of the Pencil

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Azriel Dancer hits the Market at Amazon.com

said on October 1st, 2016 filed under: Overview

My novel, Azriel Dancer, launched this morning on Amazon.com.  It’s the first edition, on the first day, of my first novel, the first of four books in the series Daughter’s of the Kali Yuga.  You can order Azriel Dancer as a Kindle Ebook for $2.99 or as a Paperback for $12.99.

 

Book 3

Here’s what customers who read the Advanced Reader Copy are saying about the book:

WOWEE!

Hugely Entertaining!

Damn Good Book—Best Read of the Year!

It’s the End of the World As We Know It, And I Feel Fine!

Hooked from the Start

It’s a Gem!

Couldn’t Put This Book Down!

Move Over Stephen King!

A Wild, Fantastic, Spirited Ride!

Must Read Book!

Hooked!

Jenkins’ Azriel Dancer Hits it Out of the Park!

If Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett Had a Baby . . .

A Purchase You Won’t Regret

Impossible to Put Down, Pick It Up

Love Child of Stephen King and Tom Robbins

Azriel is a Heroine to Root For!

A Refreshing Departure!

Who Knew the Apocalypse Could Be This Much Fun?

Buckle up for a Wild Ride

Amazing Adventure Story

Surprising . . . and Great

Binge Worthy Book

I Couldn’t Put This Book Down

WHAT A RIDE!

A hopeful tale, a very human tale, a story of survival and courage, a unique adventure, a tale of love, loyalty and grace. Well worth your time.

On facebook: Daughters of the Kali Yuga

 

ORDER YOUR FIRST EDITION TODAY AT AMAZON.COM

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Street Team in the NYC Subway

said on September 23rd, 2016 filed under: Azriel's Angels

In 1978 I lead a street team of San Jose State University drama students to New York City to promote guest performances of Wonderland Won at Theatre for the New City on the lower east side.  There were a half dozen of us on the team, I don’t remember exactly who, but I know Art Ward was there, and Brian Conroy as well.  Maybe Linda Rugg.  There was nothing for it but to stay at the Chelsea Hotel.  The moment we walked through those notorious front doors, we spied Michael J. Pollard nodding off (you know what I mean) in a lobby chair.  Welcome to the Apple.

Well, when I say street team, that’s what I mean.  Ellen Briggs prepped us with suitcases full of posters, handbills, and business cards.  We worked the streets and the subway stations with our posters and handed out our handbills to perfect strangers.  You know the life expectancy of a show flyer in NYC?  Less than an hour.  We’d paper a wall, come back the next day, and paper again.  Our previous afternoon’s posters were about four layers down.  On the subways, Art Ward drew attention to a spot on impersonation of my monkey.  He’d get everybody laughing (or at least staring), and the rest of us would pass out cards and chat people up.  Real hand-to-hand combat, this stuff.  (To the tune of “Walk on the Wild Side”) And the monkey goes chee, cha chee, cha chee, cha chee chee.)

Chimp

Theatre for the New City did not deliver the publicity they promised, so the first weekend audience were sketchy, to say the least.  But by the second weekend, our street work brought in nice crowds.  There’s an important lesson here, one I learned well:  don’t depend on anyone else to do your publicity.

With great respect and affection, I thank the members of the Azriel Dancer Angels, our indomitable street team.

Chee, chee chee, cha chee, cha chee chee!

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